Reba's Texas Fantasy
by Reba-Ellerson
Summary: Reba finds Brock dead in the kitchen and has a run-in with four powerful witches. After being knocked out, she realizes her children have been kidnapped! What lengths will Reba go to in order to save her children? (WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. RATED X/M)
1. Chaptre 1: THe unFINKABLE

dis is a tru storey dat i hav in ma hed n ima tel u abut it. IZ ABOW WEN MA HUZBIN CHETIT ON ME FO SUM NU ENGLIND PUSSEY i du not like 2 conjur up dese fots, but i fink i shud tel ma frans and ma fans abut dis becuz hez a CHETIN FUK! dis is a storey nut like any uf da odda wuns i haf rittin cuz iz gunna B al abow ME - iz gunna B REBA SEAZUN SEVIN!

**REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - **

"BROWWWK!" i berrowd frum da kitchin wit distan fo lyf. i rubbd ma nippuls az i w8tid fo a respince. dan din ansa. (O SHIT I MEN BROWK OL HOBBITS DIE HARD. ALSO PS GO SE DA HOBBET IN FEATURS NOW N DA NU BRUSE WELLIS MOVIE OF DIE HURD APOLCLYPES IT AIN OWT YET BUT I WANA FUK HIM SU BAD)

brok din repond . i tuk da nife owtta da drawr n held it clos 2 ma bress. "brok?" i sed wit a sens of OMG IZ HE DED in ma QUIVARIN TRAKEA! da liets sturtid 2 flickr (FUKIN FOTOGRAFFERS) den owtta no wher der wuz a CRINCH! BROK WUZ DED IN A HAWLWAY!

**24 HRS URLIER:**

"mam can u pas da milk?" sad jake wit a lil tast of dehidrashun

"shut funny" sad me az a pulld owt ma tit n shov a nippl in da mouf of da chilwe. he suk.

"HAY REBA" sad babra jen as she jus FUKIN WOCKS IN MA HAUS WENEVA SHI WANS! ( i jus wacks ma flor 2 ) " WUT R U DUIN 2 DAY?" shi say

i luk at hur liek shi deserfs 2 die n i opin ma mouf n rais ma tung 2 da ruf of ma mouf n conjur up sum air n creat a sound wit air cumpreshun n vokal cordes n say 2 her "nothin"

"GUD DEN DU U WANA CUM 2 DA STOW WIT ME I WANA BY SUM CLOVES"

"i cunt go 2 da stow wit u fo 2 rezinz: ONE OF DA REZINZ IS I HAT U N DA OVA IS DAT BROWK IZ GOIN 2 NEU ENGLIND 2 HAV A PISSINESS TRIP!" i sed wit a hopliss mutha tone "gotta watch da kids"

"DUN B A [_] " SAD BJ wit a hint of quintin tarentindo in hur fat vokal choresd "CUM"

"i havint cum in fiften yers…"

"WUT"

"nuthin"

(AWFURS NOTE: If u notise dis is ma POST PATRUM DAPRESHIATION moments cuz i hav babbies but no 1 2 luv me. DUN WURRY DA STORIE GETS BETTA I GET RAPED)

SO BCUZ I EM SUCH A GUD PERSUN I WEN 2 DA MALL WIT BULIMIA INCERT

"OMG DO U LIEK DIS BRA" sed BJ wit a SUS

"i lukd at hur and quenched in ma pantiez" (FUK DAT WAZ MA FOT!)

"wat did u say reba" sad babra jen

nothin i jus had an inna fot cum owt "sad me"

"wt sad reba" sad babra

(OMG)

"…reba im w8in"

"I WNA FUK U" SAD ME!

babra jen senshuelly tuk off hur bra n showd me hur nipels wit a littl bit n rolld hur fingur down da crak of hur fat tits mmmm kinda likin da way it felt wen shi tuchd ma frekly bress. i took of ma wite sun hat dat i wuz waren n tikled babras nipels it da eges n put ma hand on hur vag. i tok ma cel phon owt n cald brok, put him on da spekr phon n shuvd da phon in da vag of . WE HAD A FREESUM - but den, in da changrum BABRA JEN SHUVD A PLUNGA IN MA VAG O GOD Y BABRA JEN Y DAS RAPE!

**menwhil:**

"hu r u" sad brok (WTF I FOT U WER DED O WAIT )

…..

"hu r u" sad broke (ok i geddit now) he luukd at da figga, had a tast uf skallip…. smeld liek hooker juice… punch….. and stupd… OMG "sad brok as he dust" DA CAHRMED ONCE!

wen his chinese bones hit da flo, da churmed onces showd deyselfs…. PIPA wit a tuch uf texas toast….. PRU wit a tuch uf texis CUNT…. FEBE…WID A TUCH UF MOLEST…PAGE wit a tuch of downs…. DEY WER HER 2 FITE! prue tuk da cel phon outta browks ass ho….she spik…..

"ur next" SAD DARK PRU

**BAK IN DA BRAW STOR:**

"omg did u her dat reba?" sad babra jen takin hur finga outta ma vag

"her wut is der a babby insid?" i lisnd clos

"ma vag… it sed sumfin"

"OMG BJ UR PREG?"

"nu… a womin voise"

"O SO DEN UR CHETIN ON ME?!"

"no… da cel phon."

"OMG BROK CHETIN ON ME"

i ripd da phon outta BJs vag n out cam henry (hur babby) OMG!

"BROK HU IS DER WIT U!" i held da phon up 2 ma ear fo gud lissen…. i got da plasinta on ma face… senshuel.

"remba me?" sad PRU

"omg…. wut did u do 2 brok" i axed wit a tuch uf henry babby jewce on ma lips…..

"hez ded reba…. in ur kitch…. i cunt wait 2 go upstrairs n kill ur kids…. " OMG DA KIDS!

(WAIT! be4 i cuntinue n confoze u… i fink itz a gud tim 2 say dis wuz be4 i hat ma kids… i men i stil kinad hat dem… bt nut as musch…. so dats y i wana sav dem frum deaf… BUT LATA I WUNT CUZ I FUKEN HAT DEM ALL OMG I WISHE I CUD GO BAK IN TIM 2 LET PRU KIWL DEM BUT I CUNT!)

KYRA IN DA BAFFRUIME BULIMIA'IN ON DA FLOW, JAKE IN HIS RUME EATIN GLU N CHEAYNE IN HUR RUM SUKIN A STRANGA DIK!

"ma mutherly incence…." sad me as i RAN OWTTA DA CHANGRUM SENSHUALLY WIT NO CLOVES ON CUVAD IN BABRA JENS PLACENSTA JUICE… I RUN (AS DA SONG "FANCY" BY ME PLAUZ) MA BREST JUMPLD AS I RUN… I REMEMBA IT AL VERY WEL LUUKIN BAK IT WUZ DA SUMMA I TURND 18….. MAMA DIED IN A HAYSTAK AN DA BABY GOT RAPED BAI DA WELFAR PPL O SUMTIN! ma vag flowd in da wind…

"BURTS!" i sed as i BRUST! in2 da haus… "UNNNNNNNNNN!" I SCREMD AS I GOT FWWWWSSSHHH BY PRU POWAS N FLEW IN2 DA WAL… ma brest wus bledin sum milk by now "want sum" i sed 2 pipa… she CUDN REZIST she cum 2 harvest sum 4 her COOKIES but i PUNCH HUR IN DA VAG AN SHE FAL -

"OMG MA SISTA!" SED PAGE BUT BE4 SHE CUD EVIN FINK I SED "HAY HAY" n shi luuked…. "try n akt ur way owtta dis.." I FREW A BUBBEL ON HUR N SHE HESISTAT 2 BREVE

"STAP ATTTT!" SED FEBE . SHE GRABD MA VAG AN BEGIN 2 RIP IT OFF WIT ALL DA MITE UF A DYK BUT I LERND MA PUSSY MUSCLES HAD A TUCH UF JEWEL INTUITION N IT STARTID TO BLOW HUR AWAY! DA WIND WUZ 2 STRUNG N SHI BLEW IN2 DA WAL (R U UZE 2 DIS BLOWIN FEBES?)

"PRUE" SCREMD ME "U N I HAV UNFISHD BUZINES"

"FUK OF" SED PRU AS SHI ASTRUL PROJECKTED BEHIUND ME N STARTIT 2 RESTEL ME 2 DA GRUND…. MA NEKID BODIE BEGAN 2 GO LIMP AS SHE CHOKD ME….. I SAW MA LYF FLASH BE4 MA EYEZ… IT WUZ DA OPENIN THEM SONG 2 MA SHOW…. MA FAMILEY SMILEYING…. ME DYIN…..

"hay bitch" sed a voise. pru luuked 2 da voise cuz uf human natcheral "eat dis" sed da sandwich eatin REVEREND!

TORI SPELLIN FREW HER SANDWITCH AT PRU N IT HIT HUR IN DA FACE SO HARD SHE GREW IN2 A GAPTOOTH

da churmd once lay on da flow, dyin…. i lay on da flor nakid…. "tori" i say "ur so ugly"

i pass owt….

**LATA:**

am wid awoke. i look arund n see dat da churmd once r gon. omg "i say" ma keds! i look at da shoe rak.. "omg ma keds r ok" i breve… "OMG MA KIDS!" i run upstars, brest swaggin in da wind

wer r ma kids? da glu wuznt eatin… nu barf on da flow n no strang sox in cheyan room… "WHER R MA KIDS!"

**IN ANOVA AREA:**

"ur saf her… wit me" sed a voise, DA CAMRA ZOOMZ OWT N U SEE DAT MA KIDS R ALL IN A VAN BEIN CHILWENAPPED!

DUN DUN DUN

**REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN - REBA SEAZIN SEVIN -**

OMG WUT DO U FINK UF MA RETRUN 2 STOREY RITIN? I FINK I EVOLV AS A WOMEN AN AZ A RITER SO TUNE IN NEXT WEK FOR DA CUNTINUASHUN UF REBA SEZIN SEVIN I NO U WUNT REGRIT IT! REVIEW OR MA KIDS DIE IN EPISUD 2.

**f75025c933**


	2. CRIMNEL MINES WIT CRIMNEL PASHTS

welcum 2 chapter 2 uf REBAS TEXAS FANTASY i hop u enjoy ur stay….. PS: If u put requemptst 2 me i wil fink abut puttin dem in ma storises or puttin u in dem (but i hav permishun 2 kill u) FANKS FO WATCHIN!

**REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - **

_NAH PREVIUSELY ON REBA!_

_"ur saf her… wit me" sed a voise, DA CAMRA ZOOMZ OWT N U SEE DAT MA KIDS R ALL IN A VAN BEIN CHILWENAPPED!_

_DUN DUN DUN_

"wer r u takin us?" sad kyra wit a tuch uf "plz dun forse fed me" in hur weak esofagus. shi gulpd (too much fat betta fro up) da mysterus figga lookd at hur liek da fukin pece uf shit she iz.

"we gunna torchur u" sad REVEREND TORI SPELLING as dey pulld in2 a parkin lot. der wuz a warehaus wit a diner attachd "lemme get fud furst im sturvin" (OMFG TORI U FAT FUK!)

afta tori ate (2 HURS OMG!) dey ushad the childrun in2 da warhaus n separ9ted dem. kyra, chayena and da one wif da dik wer alon in da durk

a voise cam on da speakurs "ti feel wut i felt" sad tori as da lites cam on

"FUUUUUUUKKK" SED MA KIDS!

MENWHIL:

"omg hu can halp me find ma fukin leechis uf chilweres i men i h8 dem but i ned dem 4 ma show" i sed to babra jen, hu wuz lettin henry (hur babby) suk hur brest.

"i dunno reebs. O WAIT I DU! PRENTISS!"

"HU DA FUK-WAT DA FUK-HU IS DAT!" sad me in ma kaffy lee griffen atttirpubes.

"CRIMNAL MINES 8:30/9CENTRAL!" SCRMD BABRA "CAN I FUK SHAMAR MOORE?"

"no"

SUDDENLY IN TEH CRIMNAL MINES PLAECE:

"hay guise its me sad prentis" said prentice wid a ter doun hur chek "im sad"

"y?" sad JJ wit a tuch uf care "did u brak up wit ur bf? i fot u wer a dyke?"

"no JJ im jus sad cuz i luv dik su much but i cunt ged it wen i wurk 25/7" she drunk a lil coffey

"mm i fel u" sad JJ as shi rub hur preg belly (it has a babby insid) "cudn tel u wen i got fukt las"

"jj pls!" dey laff wit eatchuva

al uf a suddin hotchnur wockd in wit shamar moor (FUK IM WET) "we hav a sitch" sed hotch wit a tuch uf no emoshun "3 wite kids abduktit frum texis"

der wuz a momiint of "omg agen?" frum the crimnal gang but dey wer liek "wuteva it payz da bills" n dicksussed da case

"wut happon?" axed JJ wit a hint uf end me now

"fatha found ded in da kitch, the keds missin, n da mom wuz fount aliv but nakid in da livin rume covad in placenter frum anutha babby" sed hotch he show a pic uf me n da kids (MMM IM HAT!)

"rap?" axed prentis

"no hu wud tuch dat pusey?" sed shamur (OMFG HOW CUD U!)

dey all laff (om sayin dis abow me?)

"PRENTIS" axed shamur

"yas?"

"axe garsia 2 reserch da cel phon wit da fekal matta"

"on it"

BAK IN TORCHUROUS TORI LAND:

der wuz a bref frum behind chayaen. she luuked arudn. she wuz at da top uf a starcas. "IM NUT PREG WIT A BABBY I SWAR!" she sed 2 no 1…. all uf a suddn RAY CAM OWT N PRYSHD HUR DOWN DA STARS! "UNNNNNNNNNNNN" Swd shedaunt (fuk i men cheyane) as she lay in a hep on da grwnd. KATARZYNA SAW DA HOLE FING! "omg cheyane r u ok?" shi sed wit urgensy

"cal da polise"

"mm no gotta model" shi wocked awai

WTF

MENWHIL IN GARSIA LAND:

"i fund a lil sumtin da interesin 2 me" sed garsia "da phon has 4 voises on da line n i fink i recognise dem lissen" shi play da tap

"…febe….pipa….pru…page…..CHURMD 1CE!" sed dey

"OMG DIAN KRUGUR WE HAV DA SITCH FIGGAD OWT!" sed prentice n gratuity GRASHUSLY "ITS DA CHURCMED ONCES"

da team uf dicktektivs (YISS DIKTEKTIV? :$ ) was like :O n i was like :O n da charmed onces wer like :O an u wer liek :O

i dunno wut else shud happon rite now so im gunna stap it her…

(NEX TIM ON REBAS TEXIS FANTASY:

"Y R U DUIN DIS 2 MA KIDS!" I SCREM AT TORI

"Y IS TORI DOIN DIS 2 DA KIDS!" SCREMS JJ

"Y DO U NEVA C MA BABBY HENRY ON DA SHO REBA!" SCREMS BABRA JEN

"Y DO I LUK LIEK MA FASE WUZ RUN OVA BI A TRUK!" CRIET TORI REVEREND SPELLING BOOK

DUN DUN DUN )

**REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - REBA SEAZIN SEF - **

HOP U LIEKD MA CHAPTA REVEW IT


	3. SUMFIN DIS WAY GELLA CUMS

WELCUM 2 DA SEKINT CHAPTRU OF (fuk i men FURD CHAPTRU) OF YOU AINT GETTIN IT CHILWE PART 8 "REBAS TEXAS FANSTYE" in dis chaptry, da womyn n da chirun TEST DER STRENGF wen DA CROSSOVA CROSSIS OVA WIT ANUVA UNIVARSE!

**REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -**

PREVUSLY ON "REBA TEXAN FANCY"

(go bak n red it u lazy fuk)

NOW ON "REBA SHOW"

"u spint a owful lotta tim in masa2shits…" i say 2 ma husbin in a fleshbak. i hold ma cofey mug clos 2 ma bress n powt ma dik sukin lips mmm i jus ned u

"i hav a busines metin in bostin n i wil alsu fuk sum arabien pussey wen im der see u in 3 days bye" sed ma hubby as he wok away. den all of a suddin i FWWWWSSHHHH around HOPIN 2 C HIM DER! but he gawn - "WEN DA ICY WIND BLOWS U REMEMBA DAT ITS ME HU FELS DA COLT MUST OF AWL!" i sey CRAYIN "ITS NOT 2 L8! U'LL ALWAYZ HAV A PLASE 2 CUM!" i shuddur n fal 2 ma nees in da airprot… ma neecaps BRAK cuz i wuz su fat bak den o fuk….. i neva see him agen.

"it wuz da summa i trund 18" i sed wen da flashbek quibbuld bak 2 realitey "mama wushd n compt n cruled ma har n i put on a red drese n i luukd at maslef in a lookin glas n i remba ma mama sayin i lookd fancey n dat i shud b a hookur" i sturtid 2 cry 2 da crimnel mines ppl "i neva wanti hooka n i neva wantid 2 be HIS TRU ONE!" DEN I SARAH JESIKA PARKER FUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKK'd DA VASE ! "I JUS WAN MA KIDS BAK 4GIV ME FO WUT I DO!"

BAK IN DA WAREHOWS OF TORI DEATH:

"omg" sad kyra "im fludded wit feer" she quibbuld….

"UR GUNA B FLUEDED WIT SUMFIN!" sad TORI CUNTIN

("WITTY" sed u as a viewer cuz u get ma humer)

da lites went on in da rume.. "OMG" its a poole filld wit BRUITFUL cholera "i dun wan 2 swim tori" sad kyra "i jus ate liek 45 mins agu"

"fukin lies….. AWL LIES!" TORI SCREM! "THREE…. cum in hur"

in dat instince, THREE, the HAWTIST guy frum 90876 cam in2 da scen. he was hie on GUHUBBAH "IMA DEEEEEMOONNNNNNUNUNUN" sed FREE

"hay tori.." sed kyra wit a tuch of CUNT "i luvd u in tori n deen da sho on slise…"

"DIE U FUKIN LIER!" SCREMD TORI AS THREE SPIN ARUND N ELBOEW KYRA IN DA FACE BRAKIN HUR BONES SO GOOD AS SHE FALL WIT SUTCH GRASE UNTIL HUR ANORIXIC HED CRAKD OPIN ON DA KORNER OF DA POOLE

"2 dowen, 1 2 go" sed tori wit a tuch of WET PUSSY

menwhilo:

"i cunt seem 2 trak da signal frum cheyanse GPS clit ring" sed garseah wit no amoshin "mayb shi die?"

"DUN SAY DAT!" sad ME "SHI WUZ DA HOLE REZIN VAN WUZ ON DA SHOW WIFOUT HIM I HAV NO LAFFS"

"ok reba i think u ned 2 sit dowen" sad JJ as shi stab me wif sedative

"ok" i say as i slep

"OK garsea how is hur CLIT not radiatin a GPS signul - liek her pussey ALWAYZ SWOLE" sed shamur more (wen u tok ma clit swol 4 u sharmer SHUT UP REBA UR ASLEP o sry)

"MAYB BECUZ SHE AIN EVIN IN UR WURLD…." sed a voise dat i recognize

"omg" sed crimnel mines "SRAH MISCHEL BARTON I MEAN GELLAR"

"woa w8 - dey in da bufey worle?" axed prentis wit a tuch uf OMG I HAT BUFFY CROSEOVEAS

"nu…. RINGA" sed SMG wit a role of da eyes

dey all gaspin cuz of da shoke "uy wud tori go in2 ringa wurld 2 kill da chilwes?" axed shamur

"wel…. i hat 2 admit it but sinse it wuz on da CW no1 payd attenshun 2 it wen it wuz on TV n now dat its…..u no…..cansilled NO1 is finkin bowt it.. purfekt plase 2 kiwl 3 keds.." said SMG wit a bit uf "I MISS DA WB"

omg "sad evry1" show us da wai!

"2 DA BUFFY WORLD!" sed SMG "fuk im so use 2 sayin dat in dese fukin stories…."

ahem

"2 DA RINGA WURLD!"

DUN DUN DUN

**REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -REBA SEZIN o -**

**RE**MEMBA WEN I SED STUFF WUD HAPPIN IN DIS STOREY WEL I 4GOT SO SHUDDUP


	4. A SPESHUL ENSEMBEL CAST EPISUDE

welcum bak 2 ma storie. i hav 2 adres da revuews i hav gottin abow dis. fanks.

**REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - **

"rememba wen u fistit ma vag n u halpd deliva ma babby henry?" axed bj wit a hint of LETS FUK

"fuk u bj u jus fukin had 2 get dirtey at da beginin uf da storey DIN U!" i pray 2 allah fo hur demise.

"ya but i fink dis is a gud way 2 get da readur prapart 4 da fakt dat sweet honey chilwe jake is gunna get raped 2day…" sed BJ OMG WYT?

"OMG WYT?" SAD ME "HOW DO U NO DIS!" i frottuld BJ wit ma senshual hand arund hur neck BRAKIN Hur bones n MAKIN HUR HESITATE TO BREVE!?

"OMG REBS STOP PLS IT WUZ JUS PROSES UF ALIMINATION (ILLUMINATION!)" SED BURGER JEAN "I AKCHEWALLY WATSHED BEVALIE HULLS, 90876 N DIS IS AL SHIT FRUM DA SHOW!?"

omg "i finked 2 maself" how did u no dis but not tel SHAMUR MORE?

"cuz im stupit"

"ya i can c dat" sed me "HOWEVA U RN'T GETTIN AWAY WIT DIS!" i say as a PLUNCH MA FISS IN2 HUR VAG SO HARD RIPPIN OWT HUR OVARIES N DEN SHUVIN DEM DOWN HER FROAT SO FAT

"eat up BITCH"

(am so wittey?)

MENHILWE:

"JJ!" sed jj

(wait wtf)

o "sad jj" srry i ment prentis.

"ya" sad prentis wit a donut sause stain on hur speshul cloves…. (dapreshun hurts yal)

"i cunt go 2 da ringa wurld bcuz im carryin a babby" sed JJ wit a hint uf i wish i wuznt mormon

"dun worey i wil g wil tak lots uf pichas" sed prentis "n il mak shur 2 slap bridgets dawta fo u"

"fanks"

"OK GUISE R U REDY" sed SMG "NOW KEP IN MIND DAT WE R GOIN, NOT ONLEY 2 DA RINGA WURLD, BUT 2 DA CW WORLE N U MITE NOT CUM BAK O U MITE FAL IN2 CUMPLETE IRELLOVENCE" a ter roled dowen hur chek "i neva fell so low" shi sad as shi lookd at hur speshul adishun of SKOOBY DOO on VHS "i luvdchu" SHE SAD AS SHI JUMPD IN2 DA PORTAL UF LIFE TO DA LAN UF DEFF!

"um did shi jus tel a VHS copey uf Skoobey Doo dat shi luvd it?" axed prentis wit a hint uf omg dis bitch is fukt

"ya….REMEMBA WEN SHI WUZ IN DA MOVEY "PORTOBELLO MUSHEROOMS?" axed ME hu just wocked in2 da scen

"REBA U CUNT B HER WER GOIN IN2 DA RINGA WURLD!" sed SHAMUR "U CANT CUM U R ALREDY IN DA CRIMNEL MINES UNAVURSE N U CANT BE IN MO DEN 2 UNAVERSES AT WUNCE!"

"may i correkt ur sexy body 4 1 sec" sad me senshualley as 2 not offend "but u r akchewalley in MA WORLE!" I SMASHD A COFFEY MUG ON DA FLO FO DRAMA AFFEKT! "so if U go in der, u wil die" i lit a sigaret n put it owt wit ma foot fo senshuel affekt

"omg shis rite" sad shamur :we cunt do it"

"srry wat did u say" SAD PRENTIS AS SHI JUMP IN2 DA PORTUL "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" SHI SKREMED AS SHI WUZ RIPt APURT IN2 SHREDS N BLUUD FLEW EVRY WARE ON EVRY1'S SPESHUL CLOVES EXCEP FO ME CUZ IM PARFEKT

"told chu" sad me

JUS DEN JJ WUZ LIEK "OMG OW" N HUR BABBY RIPPD OWTTA HUR VAG N STARTID GETTIN SUKT IN2 DA VORTIX "MA BABBY!"" SHI SCREMD HALP BCUZ HUR BABBY AMBULICAL CORD WUZ PULLIN HUR IN 2! but i wuz liek omg jus die alredy

"HOLD ON 2 MA HAND"

"MY BABBY"

"UR BABBY IS DED JJ JUS GET OVA IT N GRAB MA HAN"

"fuk u"

SHE LET GO OF HUR LIFE! RIP JJ ABRAMS!

"omfg jus get owtta ma way"

I JUMP FREW DA VORTIX IN2 DA RINGA WURLD

but wer is BUFEY

"shi aint her…" SED SHUBBY!

"omg shubby wer is ma KIDS!" sed me wit distrot "i no ur evil i dun saw it on da SHOW"

"dats wer ur RONG! " scremd shubby "u din evin get 2 c ma storey ark in sesin 2 wer i becam a luvin mutha"

"aw dat swet but ur stil a bitch" i frew durt inhur eyes

"AHH"

I RUN! i call on da misterius blak cel phon frum da showe

"hullo" sad GEMMA

"GURL I NED UR HALP"

"im ded fuk off"

click

OMG NO 1 IZ HER 2 HALP ME

"excipt me" sad a voise

"omg hu sed dat"

"me"

"HU IS ME" SAD ME

ME "SAD DA VOISE ME"

omg jus show urself

"ME!" sed ALIAS GURL

"alias gur in da ringa wurld?" i axd

"wel it al began 1 evnin wen i wuz in a newtrogina comershul tryin 2 sel ppl da look uf rully gud skin on da CW channul wen all uf a suddin der was a glitch in da CW stashun n i get sukt in2 da ringa wurld. no soonur did i realize wer i wuz, dey cansilled da show n i cudn escap"

"no wunda i aint seen u in nefing l8ley"

"its onley bin a yur" sed alies

"ya neway HALP ME FIND MA KIDS"

"AS LUNG AS U PROMICE ME DAT U WILL GET ME OWT UF HER" shi sed wit a tuch uf SD-6 in hur eyss

"fin… BUT NO DIS…. i stil fink 13 goin on 30 wuz turribl"

"ya tel me sumfin i dun no."

WE LAFF

"LETS GO!" i say 2 hur

"NUT SU FASS" sed PARMINDER NAGRA!

"OMG PARMINDUR WUT R U DUIN HER" sed ABISWILAY?

omg abiswilay wut r u doin her "SAD ME"

ummm i dunno"

K WELL I GOTTA FIND MA KIDS SO BYE

"WE FINNA HALP U" SED PARMINDER "WE ALL HAT TORI"

"Y U DISSIN ON TORI"

"shi nows wut shi did"

WE LAFF

ME N ALIES GURL N PARMINDER NAGRA N ANISWILAY WOCK IN SLO MOSHUN 2 DA SONG YOO HOO BY DA IMPERIUL TEEN CUZ WE FELT LIEK IT

just den der wuz a crinch… arund da korner we saw a figga… a familya figga…

"im su dapressed" sad da figga

"WUT DO U WAN" sed parminder wit a hint of I WUZ ONLEY EVA IN ELLA INCHANTIT WUT IS DIS MESS

"i cunt let u go ne furver" sad DARK PRENTISS!

:O

:O

:O

**REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - REBA SEZIN 4 - **

HOP U LIEK MA TWISS N TRUNS STAY 2NED FO SUMFIN 2 RLY HAPPON FANKS


	5. CHAPTA 5: 2 BECUM 1

WELCUM BAK 2 MA STOREY BOOK TV SHO "REBA TAXES FANSY" I HOP U ENJOI DIS EPISUDE

**REBA - REBA REBA - REBA REBA - REBA REBA - REBA REBA - REBA REBA - REBA REBA - REBA**

WIT A FWSH DARK PRENTIS USED HUR DARK POWAS AGENS US WOMIN! (abus/) WE FLY ACROSS DA ROAD IN2 SUM GARBITCH (which in da ringa wurld is ful uf DVD copeys of "PORTABELLO MUSHRUMS" )

"OMG MA DEODURANT SPESHAL!" see abiswiley as chi piked up half of hur drink n port it all ovur hur bodey senshuelly "mmm kinda likin da way it fel"

"gurl dis ain da tim nor da plase 4 dayordinate speshals!" i say "WE HAS 2 FITE DARK PRENTIS!" i pump owt ma bress 2 show u how tuff i em.

"UM IM A AORTHEAN I CUNT FITE WIT ANGUR" sed PARMINDER NAGRA! like teh bitch shi iz. i smakt hur in da fase cus im RAZIST

"PARMINDUR U BETTA FITE U CANNUT BARRY UR ANGUR" sed ROMA DOWNEY?

"omg roma how did u get her?" sed ALIAS as shi dustit off da garbitch n las nites deodurunt speshal (its semin)

"wel i am an angel n i em wite so i get 2 du wut i wunt wen i wunt." sed roma wit a tuch of holey bibble "now wer is dis dark prentis?" shi axesd

"rite der standin idle dis hole tim we hav bin tockin insted uf killin us wen shi had da chanse" sed alias wit a hint of "IS DIS MA SHOW?"

"o. well let me red a vurse frum da bibble"

she cler hur froat

"Hers ur wun chase Jesus dun lemme dowen!" sed roma wit a hint uf RESSUREKSHUN!

WIT A FWISHH OF OMINOUS LITE, A FIGGA CAM DOWEN FROM DA SKY!

"HOH!" SED JULIE CHEN AS SHI CRASHD 2 DA GROWNED "IM HER 2 DAFEND U!"

"can sum1 just fite me pls iv ben standin her 4 like 2 mins waitin fo u 2 attak" sad dark prentiss wit a hint uf dapresshun pills

"ackchewally im nut in da mood" sed jurie chenergy "i hav ma peried"

"omg me 2" sed dark prentice "wana bump cunts?"

"OKAY" sed a homeles womin

"WTF" SED EVERY1

**MENWHILE: **

"i can smell u!" SED RAY RULL LOWD 2 SCARE SWET HUNEY CHILWE. it wuz dark. his sistas wur dyin n he wuz next. he shuddad wit feer.

"RAY! UNDA DA STARS!" sed TORI CUNT wit a tuch uf SPELLING "GRAB HIM N RAP HIM LIEK U DID 2 ME IN SEZIN 6!" she LAFFT! ! !

he GRABD sweet hunny n startit 2 CHOKE HIM SO MUCH LIEK ANDY! when all of a sudan…

"STOP RITE DER!" sed a womin voise. ray freeze mid rape

"HU R U?" sed tori RULLY ANGRY LIKE BCUZ SHE DIN FINISH HUR PLAN

"I AM COLD CASE. AM HER 2 ARRES CHU FO RAPE OF DIS CHILWE!" sed cold case as a rat crawld owt of hur untamed weav.

"um cold case dis izn evin a cold case like it aint evin a case cuz iz liek happenin rite now so evin if it wer a case it wud b a warm 1 u no?" sed Ray "dis aint evin ur jewrishdiction

"o….fuk." sed colt case "well carey on. c u in 20 yurs wen i get bak 2 dis case bye" shi disapurred

"OK BAK 2 RAP! SED TORI SPELLING" sed ray

"what?"

**ANYWAYS BAK 2 ME:**

"GURL" sad me "WE AIN GAT TIM 2 FUKIN BUMP CUNTS DATS WUT BJ N I DID IN DA FURS EPIDOSE AN LUUK AT WUT HAS BECUM UF DIS!" i wipe da teers of a brokin muva frum ma face wit a copey of PORTOBELLO MUSHROOM as i eet a SOUR PATCH BITCH to wak me up "mmm su sowa" i say direktly in2 da camera (ITZ MA PORDUCT PLACING!)

"UNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUN UNUNUN" SED JURIE CHEN N DARK PRENTIS AS DEY BUMP CUNTZ WIF HATE FO LYFE

omg "sad alies" LOOK AT DER CUNTS!

BOFF DARK PRENTIS N JURIE CHEN BEGIN 2 MORF 2GEVA AT DA VAG. DEY SCREM IN PAIN AS DER VAGES BECUM A FIGGA. HAFF ROBUT HAFF DEPRESSHUN!

da figga luukd up at us wit a red eye (but no red eye sing plays wttf?/ GAT DAM PRADUCAS!) she wus senshuel.

"i need 2 kill u" sed da figga frew a snaggul toof "itz ma INTUITION!' SAD JEWEL!

SHI SHOT DA LAZER BEEM UF FOLK MUZIK TOWARDZ US BUT INSTED IT WEN OVUR OWER HEDS N HIT AN INTRUDA!

"MA BABBY!" SCREMD DARK JJ AS SHE DIE IN SLO MO

der ded bodey lay on da grown

"hay guise its me jewel" sed jewel as dark prentis n jurie chen's decrepid bodeys lay ded in da street

"um like i no im ritin dis storey but y did u cum frum dark prentis n juliue chens vags?" sed me

"wel becuz im actuaely ur subconshus n i no dat u wud rathur rite fo jus 1 charcter insted uf 2 so i becam 1 geddit tee hee 2 becum 1?"

"no." sed evry1

"it wuz a sing i rite on ma best sellin ablum 0304"

"dats adorabul mayb sum 1 wil lisen 2 it 1 day" sed roma downey AS HER FROAT GOT SLIT FRUM BEHIND! "uhsugfdjhgjlfdjglkfjhlkj" sad wite angel as she bled owt in da street. such a gud way 2 go u no?

"OK HU DID DAT!" sed PARMINDER NAGRA AS SHI STUUD IN FRONNA ME IN FITE STANSE WIT A COPEY OF PORTOBELO MUSHROOM

"….parminder… i no u fel as tho u mus protekt ur mistress…. but i beg u…. wock awai…" SED NURUMU!

OH FU- wait y did u kill wite angle?/

"o i fot u jus sed angle n i wuz like i neva liekd him cuz he wuz meen 2 ma dawta buffey" o ok

MENWHILE IN TEH GOD DAM WITE PRODUCAS ROOM!:

"dis sho sux we shud cansel it"

"ok"

"WAIT!" sed anuva GOD DAMN WITE PRODUCA "i'll tak da sho on ma netwurk."

"ok"

FLASH FOWAD:!

"NEXT TIM ON REBAS TEXAS FANTASY: NURUMU, JEWEL, PARMINDER, ABISWILAY, ALIAS AND REBA FINALAY REECH TORI'S LAIR 2 SAV HUR KIDS, BUT WIL DEY B 2 LATE? TUNE IN NEXT SUNDAE AT 8/9C ONLY ON DA CW"

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUU!"

**IRELLOVANCE - IRELLOVANCE - IRELLOVANCE - IRELLOVANCE - IRELLOVANCE - IRELLOVANCE - IRELLOVANCE - IRELLOVANCE - **

I HOP U LIEKD DIS EPISUD SO PLZ RAVEW IT N MABE NEXT TIM I WIL ACTUAELY INCLUDE A PLOT LIN FANKS!


	6. MA TRU POWARSH

Mmmmmm PARMINDR NAGRA eat dat pussy swole

**REBAS TEXAS fuk it**

last time on CTU!

…

da taint rite

**LAST TIME ON MA FANCY!**

we gut moved 2 da cw

...nubudy watch dis show nemo

...i hat u all

"fewf dat wuz 1 gud ORGAY" sed JEWELL as she unplungd hur fist frum my vag and pikd out a hair frum hur tuuf. It wuz frum 1 of alias gurlz pussy wigs. (WIGZ!)

"su war wer wi" sed NURUMU as she stood up  
*CRINCH*  
NUrUM accidentatally crushed abisalaies neck wit hur fut!  
SHE DUST

"sacrifaices ned 2 be med" sed jewel as she likd da dust  
"WTF JEWEL HOWDUZ ABISWARLE DYIN HALP ANYBUDY" sed parmindr "SOSHAL JUSTISE" parmendar  
"shi wuz fat" sed jewel WITH A FWSSH and a "WALK AWAY"

we walkd to da SEPLLIN LAYA war ma chilchren wuz bein held rapetive (get it iz lik hostage excpt MA CHILDRN R BEIN RAPD I AM A MUTHA I GOTTA DO THIS DON FUCK WITH ME CHIKA)

we walkd on da street  
"OMG WATCH OUT REBA!" scremed alias grl as shi pointd at sum pple ova thar (nu u lukin da wrong way iz ova DAR")  
"EXTRASSS!" scremed NURUMU as shi jumpd n and startd slicing da pple left and right and left and DEAD BODIZ EVRYWAR  
"wer dey all cum frum" scremed parminder quietishly  
"i dunno sed me" sed me  
"DEY CUMIN FRUM DAT RAPE VAN!" scremd nurumu as she pointd at her vagina becuz of human naturchel

we ran 2 da rape van n rubd our tits all ova it for senshuality and becuz DIS STURY RATED M NO CHILDREN ALLOWED

just den da van opnd

"hallo"  
sed a figgur

"HU RU"  
"want sum crack" sed da demun figgur

"YUS PLZ!" sed alias (JENNIFA GARN Mutha BE MO RESPONSIBLE! DUN DO THIS 2 BEN!)  
alias tuk a hit of crack N den felt a swellin n hur netha reguns

hur periud had begun  
"no" she thoughted "...no"

"u no wai dey call it KRAK" sed da figgur  
"OMG WAI, WAI DEY CALL IT KRAK" sed arias bleeding out da hoohaaa  
"becuz U SKULL GONNA KRAK!" scremed LALAINE!

ALIAS HEAD DUN KRAKED UP N BURST OPEN LIK A WATERMULON FRESH!

HUR BRANZ GOT ALL OVA REBAS "#1 mutha" AMULET AND HUR WEAVE WIG FIBAS GOT ALL OVA NURUMUS CLIT! SU INSANITUREE! TRIPEL INFECT!

"hated dat bitch" sed lalain as shi sturred down JUWUL, NUruMU and the third perso OH WAIT DAS ME! SHE STARIN AT ME GurLLLL UUUUUUUUU LALAINE OVA HERE I LOVED U IN "CHANGLING"!111

just den nurumu ran forward n slashed at lalain wit her HATORI HANZO KITCHN NIFE (dawn did u get ur lunch 2day?) but it FAZED RIT TRU DA BITCH

"u faggot not ral mutha, I AM A SPIRIT"  
she sed as she fwshed wit da power of **UNEMPLOYABLE BECUZ OF DRUG ARREST** n kiked jewel in da face

howeva if u rememba da continooidy jewel is one half cHENbutt n dus her face is made uf metal  
IT DIN EVN FLANCH!11111

"how cud dis b" sed LALAINE as hur fwsh was unfwshed wit a fwsh!

"gurlz i no wut 2 du! I AM A CHRISTIAN! I CAN FITE EVIL" I SCREMED WIF ALL DA TRIUMPh OF NOT AN ATHIEST

"HOW U GONA DU IT REBA?" scleamed da audience  
"just watch me" i sed as i walk away n burnd ma bred n den SPRED MA VAGINA BECUZ IT CAN SUK UP DA EVIL SPIRUTS!

I SUKED UP ALL DA EVIL SPIRITS INCLUDIN JEWELS WHORISHNESS! DA SUKSHUN GRASPD AT LALAINS UNDIVIN TRUF AND MAD HUR QUIBBLE WIF FEAR!  
but dn i luk and lalain jus smild  
"u din count on one fing"  
"wutz dat" i sed, ustunishd dat she aint dun bin suked up in2 ma uteri yet  
jus den i lukd down 2 see wai it waznt wurkin!  
PARMINDR NAGRA WUZ DUN GIVN ME CUNNILANGUS!  
"mmmm nut now babby" i sed to her senchually slappin her face BECUZ I AINT NO LIPSTIK LEZ  
"uups sry reba" she sad as shi remuvd her face with a "mmmPOP"  
da remuval of da aortheon facial featurs let da full force be dun  
"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUU GOD DAMN U LIZZZIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE" scremed LALAINE and shi wuz suked up in2 irrelovence (geddit my uterus is useless becuz menopaus n i neva guna find a new husband anyway DYIN ALONE MMM YA!)

with a "FWUMP" ma vag seald da evil wifin n i pulld bak up ma "FRESH 50's" singl mutha track pants with variable elastic!  
i smild at ma frends  
"su wer wer wi" i sed wit a triumfant smile

"reba alia gurl is ded!" sed parmigana nagra

"...u ruind ma moment u stupid bitch"

**NEXT TIME ON MA STORY:**

WHATEVA THE FUK I WANT TO HAPPEN DIS MA STORY U SHUT THE FUK UP  
8/9 CW CENTRAL TIME EASTERN DAY

SEAZIN SEVN rEBA – SEVEN SEASIN REBA – REBUH SEZIN REBA – SEVN – SEVN SEVN SEVN – ME

sometimz i wonder...  
shud i hav ben born wit a pen15?


	7. OMEMOMEOMEO GRANNY GARDINS GET OWT!

dis 1 tim i fukd maself wit a nife - AN DATS HOW I GUT DA INSPIERASHIN FO DIS CHAPTRU! HAV FUN!

**REBA-LAN - REBA-LAN - REBA-LAN - REBA-LAN - REBA-LAN - REBA-LAN - REBA-LAN - REBA-LAN - **

"hav u eva fel su lowe?" sed parminder nagra wit a swole pussy but nuffin 2 fuk hurslef wif? she begun 2 shov hur finga in2 hur aorthean vag BUT I FIGGAD OUT DA SITCH !

(no wate i didn figgya it out yet dats lata in da chaptru…)

**MEANWHILO:**

Ray finsihd da rape of sweet hunny (OMG I DUN PLAN FO DIS 2 HAPPON BUT IT DID!) n calt upon TORI, WHO CAM IN 2 DA SCEN WIT KYRA AN MY OVA CHILWE HOSTIDGE!

"LINE DEM UP" she say 2 ray who did hear hur

'WUT' sad raymond "cudn her u" he breve

"HOW ABUT u JUS FUKIN DIE U AINT EVIN DAT GUD LUKIN!" SED TORI AS SHE FROTTULED RAY WIT HUR CHUBBY HANDS!

he begin 2 run outta breff but den, he rembird… hur weekniss…

"EAT DIS" SED RAY AS HE PLUNGED A SANDWITCH IN 2 HER MOUF! she cudin resist! :D then he shuvd anova 2 in hur… and some mo… and mo…. until SHE BRUST OPIN LIEK A GRAPFRUTE

"tori.. u neva luked betta" he likd da jewce

"omg" sed ma kids

"SHUDDUP! SED RAY!" SED RAY! I AINT DUN WIF U"

JUS DEN HE SHUT CHEYAN IN DA FASE WIT A SHOTGUN AN HUR HED BRUST OPIN LIEK A WELFARE CHEQUE. her bluud spray on kyra hu wuz cuttin hurslef.

"EAT UP KYRA" SED RAY AS HE SHUVD CHEYANS BODEY PARTS IN 2 HUR MOUF - KYRA DIED INSTINTLY!

"i'll jus kiwl maslef" sad jake as he sweet honey'd all over himself and died

"I RELINQUISH!" SCRAMED RAY AS HE ROLD ARUND IN TORIS BLUUD

**ANYWAYS BACK TO ME:**

"wut cuhler nale polish do u fink goes best wit ma vag?" i say 2 jewel not noing dat ma kids hav al jus diet

jewel luuked at me becuz uf humin interakshun n sed "um dun u wana find ur kids?" she breved

"not rite now i luv dis song!" i sed as i pumpt up da jam on da radio fo KEYLIE MINOOG'S SING CALT "LUV AT FURST SITE"

i danse.

EVERYFIN WENT FRUM RONG 2 RITE DA MUSIC U WER PLAYIN WUZ GUD N STUFF BABBY WEN I HERD U WE WER MENT 2 B AS WUN! HE HE.

"STAP ATTTTTTT!" sed a voise dat sed "STAP ATTTTTTT" in a prevus chaptru

i quibbul wit feer an got a lil wet

"febe?" i axed wit a hint uf i fot ur wer ded?

"ya its me" sed febe "an ma sisters"

"SISTAS" sed pipa wit a tuch uf perfekt lil tea spot

"heavin must b missin an angle" sad prue (like literalley nurumu killed wite angle in a prevus chaptru so heavin is rully missin an angle TEE HEE carnage )

and den der wuz rose mcgowen who cares

I SCRAMED BECUZ I JUS REMEMBARD WILE RITING DIS DAT DA CHURMED ONCES TRYED 2 KILL ME IN CHAPTRU 1 tEH UNFINKABLE! (in stores NOW ONLY 50 DOLLAS PER CHAPTRY)

"Y R U HER?!" I SCREM AT DEM

"becuz yur keds r ded" sed febe wit a tuch uf christian chillruns fund infomershal spik

"OMG!" I SCRAM CRAYIN "U LIE!" (BUY "U LIE" NOW ONLEY ON ITUNES GEDDIT FO FREE WIT UR PURCHASE UF MA ABLUM "WUN LAST GUD HAND" OR "SWET SEXTEEN" IN FEATURS NOW ALSO WATCH MA NEW SHO MABLIE CUNT ON DA CW)

i lookd at churmed wunce… "SHO ME WER TORI IZ I FINNA KIL HUR!" sed me

"shez ded 2" sed pippa. "ray vanqueshd da demun"

i stap crayin "so ur sayin ray savd ma keds?" i smile becuz not onley did he abus tori he savd ma kids!

"no he da wun hu killt dem"

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCJJJKKKKK:

jewel slapt me wit hur cuntflaps "GURL GED IT 2GEVA" we wil find ray.

"ders no tim!" scremd febe "ur kids r in purgatory (mo liek purgaTORI) we gotta get 2 dem n reviv dem befor santa reds his lis n sees dat dey bin nautty CUZ DEN DEY GO 2 HELL FO ALL UTERNETY"

i cray 1 teer.

"how du we get der" axed parminder "curiosity killd teh aorthean" nagra AS PRUE LED BY EXAMPUL BY KILLIN PARMINDER?

"OMG" sed me "actualley its ok…. but i still dun geddit" i breve and fart a lil 2…

"u hav 2 die reba… its da onley way 2 get 2 purgatori spellin lair" sed pippa "here hav a demon cookie"

i bite in2 it "mm gotta lil schock frum dat demun powa" i say wit a swole clit.. i breve… "I DUN WANA KIL MASLEF " sed REBA I MEAN ME "evin if i do it, how r we gunn cum bak?"

"wel even us as da churmed once cunt bring u bak becuz afta 4 sezins on da WB we cudnt figya out a way 2 brang pru bak so…" dey breve

"SO WUT?" i say

"we hav 2 cal wirrow 2 bring u bak 2 lyf"

I SHOT MASELF IN DA FASE AT DA FOT OF BEIN SAVED BY A DYKE

**REBALAN - REBALAN - REBALAN - REBALAN - REBALAN - REBALAN - REBALAN - REBALAN - **

OMG WUT WIL HAPPIN WUNCE I KILL MASELF? TUNE IN NEXT DAY FO GUD LISSEN N GUD READ


	8. purgaTORI

omg wut do u evin fink wil happon in dis chaptru?/ i dun evin no eitha bcuz i din evin plan it! I JUS HAV A DEMUN INSID ME FORSING ME 2 RITE DIS STOREY O GOD KILL ME BEFO IT MAKS ME RAP MASELF

**DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - **

i awoken in purgatory. ma fase has ben dishevelled bcuz of da shutgun shelz. i wipe off ma face an a nu one shows frum undaneef… (omg im mo gud luukin den befo HOW IZ DAT POSSIBRU) i breve and lok arund… it iz a cron field of goldin cron mmmm i luv cron. dun u jus luv cron? i look at da kamera…

"HAY, AM REBA ELLERSUN. DU U EVA MAK DINNA N DEN UR HUSBAN SLAPS U BECUZ HE DRANKS 2 MUSCH? IF UR A VICTUM OF CHILWE ABUSE DEN U NEED TO MAK DIS CRON FO UR FAMLEY FO DINNA!" i flash da cron at u an mak shur dat da camera has 2 zoom in2 ma bress cuz DER su BIG!

"NOW U CAN!" i say 2 no 1, "JUS BY DIS CRON ITS CALT 'REBAS CRON FANTASY' N U CAN EAT IT FO DINNA MMM PARMINDER NAGRA EAT THAT PUSSY SWOLE? no dat aint rite I MEAN MMMM EAT DA CRON su GUD!" SUDDENLY I GET SLAPT IN DA FASE BY A GIANT TIT

"OW I SAY 2 NO 1" SAD ME "hu r u?" i breve

"am BRANDY JUGS!" sad brand powa bitch wit a hint of brand powa bitch and big jugs mmm suk me.

"i fot u diet in a prevus storey calld "BRAND POWA: TEH BRAND POWA BITCH CHRONICLES" now in stores bye it onley 4 money an 5 buks

"ya but ur in purgatory" sad brandy wit a swivuul of da bress. she breved so good an as she breved i breved and STABBED HUR WIT A BRAND POWUR NIFE.

how dat tast? "sad me" as i grabbed hur hed wit da bluud dribblan owt of hur mouf. i kissd hur so wet mmm makin out wit hur. i pulld hur har n pulld hur fase bak away frum me N DEN I SPIT IN HUR FASE

i frew hur bodey 2 da grownd n she dust.

"omg IS DIS DA BUFEY WORLE? Y DID SHE DUST!?" sed me

"nu." sad SMG "is da CRUWEL INTENSHUNCE WORLE"

"o fuk me"

"k" sad CRUEWEL INTENSHUNS SARA MISCHELLE GULLAIR OMG OMG SHE SO SLUTTAY!

as shi kissd ma crusty lips a quibbul of salvia attachud us at da mouf OMG i neva fell su lowe

she put hur hand on ma vag n called upon hur BFF selma blare to da scen. selma senshuaelly rippd off ma arms and ate dem

SOLILOQUE REBA: "dats how i amagind it wud happon" i sed wit DA WURST TWEST OF FAYTE N WAST OF TIM.

ok so liek evryfin rully did happon cept fo ma arms gettin riped of cuz dats rude.

JUS DEN RINGA BRUDGET SMG AND SMG SHUBBY WOCKED IN AN FUKIN STABBeD CREWEL INTENCHUNS SMG TO OBLIVIA (labia) hur bluud wen all ova selme blares speshal cloves n she din no wot 2 do so she jumpt off a bridg

"now dat we tooken car of dat" sad SHUBBY "we finna gotta find ur kids!" she pukur hur lips at me (WINK WINK SHUBBY I FEEL U! ;) )

"o ya i faggot y i kiwled maslef" i say "GOTTA SAVE SHARLENE KELLY AN PETER!" does thaat equil ma kids?/

"nu" say shubby

"o"

JSU DEN OWTTA NOWHER SARAH LEON GASPED IN2 DA SCEN WIT LONG BLAK HAR N DAPRESHIATION

"FINNA FITE U" SHE SAYYYY?

"omg wtf" say me "how bowt u jus add me on msn"

"OMG DO U LUV ME?" sad SARAH LEON

"no" sad MSN

"FEEL TEH RATH OF MA BFF RAZONBLADE!1" sad srahe delons as she SLASHED HUR RISTS N FREW HURSELF DOWEN A FLITE OF STARS!

"k so liek wtf is happenin i feel liek dis is jus a chaptru wer we frow in ded charkters n den kill dem agen?" sad reba i mean me (reba) "liek i jus wana find ma kids n get dis storey ova wif"

JUS DEN (o fuk) A CRINCH WUZ HURD (of cors it wuz) A DARK FIGGA APPURD

"das razist" sad teh dark figga "y do i always gatta b da dark figga?!" sad FRANCY

"o hay francey" sad me "want sum andy?" i breve

"shur" shi sad as shi ate a lil sum sum of andy creole n smiled "fansk"

i look at hur wif knowledgable hesitat

"hmmm im tirud gotta chang owtta dese cloves n get ma gun n shoot u cus ur DARK FRANCY"

"WOAH OK SRSLY Y DO I HAV 2 ALWAYZ B DARK I CUD B NE-FING"

HOLD UP "Sad anova random charkter" LIP GLOSS IS A PART UF ME

"SHUT UP SALEISHA WE AINT GAT TIM FO DIS"

"ERRRRRRRRNRNNNNNRNRNRNNNNNNNN!" SAD TYRAL BANK

i look at hur and spik

"tyra dis aint da tim nor da plac-"

"REB LOOKIN AT ME? i wuz nat tawkin 2 u wen i wuz sayin oll dis ova stuff n u jus kep goin n goin n i dun liek u. fo a fakt but u no wut? u mite jus get a sekint chanse"

i quibble ma lips

"but im nut shur yet…."

TENSE MOMINT

"mmm A MIRACLE" SAD TURA BANAL AS SHE PULLED LIL JAKE OWTTA HUR BREASS

"OMG KAJE I MEAN JAKE!" I SCREM AS I HUG MA CHILWE HU IS COVAD IN BRONZER (tan bress mmm betta den freckle) R U HURT?" i say to him pretendin i din rite dis storey

"im fin jus gat rapd" (SO STRUNG!)

"wer r ma bettar kids?" i axe

"i fink i can halp u" sad anova old charketr

"um hu ar u?" i say wif no idea

"me"

"k im nut doin dis agen hu r u?"

"VERONICE MARKER" sad VERONICO MUTT!

o fuk

**DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - DEMON INSIDE - **

hay fanks fo reddin ma storey SAYD DA DEMON INSIDE ME as i mastabarte wit a cricivfueclcecksnlck


	9. FINAL CHAPTA X 2

IMA JUS GET RITE 12 IT

**REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -**

prevusy on reban anal facility…

VERONICO MUTT!

now on REBALAN

"I SPUT ON UR GRAPE" sad me wen veronial marcupeal appured "I NEW DAT U WER DED I SOW IT WIF MA OWEN EYES!" i SCRAM so lout dat ma voise goes QOJFBDLJNGK n den i loose ma voise fo da rest uf da chapta until a importint momint at u will c l8r

jus den… free shadweoy figgas appurred in da distunce…

dey spik

"b…h….g - in posishun… its showtime gurles!"

" WOT CAN I DO FO U!" Sang goldin browne as da lites startid up! DA SHOWE WUS ABUT 2 START

ALL UF A SUDAN purrgaTORI turnt in2 a stadium filed wit gay pipl dansin n clappan

goldin brown did a lil FWSH n hur modist cloves turned in2 SUPA SLUT WIT A TUCH UF TEEN PREGNINCY. she den pulld a microfone outta hur vag

**INTRODUCE!**

GOLDIN BROWNE (?)

she startit 2 sing n danse a lil n den HISPANIC wus watchin hur sing n den dis RULL BIG GUY WUZ LIKE "UR A HISPANIC WOMIN IN A BLAK WOMINS WORLE" n she wuz like tee hee i r srry i'll suk ur dik jus dun tel ma daddie n den SHE SPIN KICKD HIM IN DA FASE WIT ALL TEH MITE OF A DUKE n he DIE

"DIS RULL AMOSHIN IS TAKIN ME FRUM BEHIND N ITS SURROWNDIN ME I FEEL IT IN MA VAG" sag godling brownie

**INTRODUCE:**

HISPANIC!

she sturtit watchin teh sho agen

"DIS WAVE OF TRU EMOTISHON IS FOLLOWIN ME LIKE I JUS CAN GET AWAY … I CUNT HER U!" sang goldin (omg dis sing sukxs)

"HAY U!" Scremd sum fat man at teh odda figga… she wuz rully unimpreszed SHE FIKN KIKD his face n den he fal dawoen teh stars … mmm

**INTRODUCE:**

BIG EYES

she slid dowen teh railin

FITE STUNCE!

"DIS WORLE OF REL AMOSHUN IS GIVIN ME A HART ATTAK N NOW I SHOW U MA TITE VAG U NEVA SEEN WON LIEK DIS" Sang godlie brwoen "SING IN 2 MA VAG WAT CAN I DO FO U!"

"WTF IS GOIN ON!" sad veronice machado "IS MA TIM 2 SHIGNE"

"nu…" sad GOLFING BRONCHITIS "its r tim"

she fwipped her goddam har n turnd 2 verical mishap

WE R TIRED UF BEIN CANNABALIZED "sad hisbanic" WE JUS WANA B GURLFRENCE

omg "sad verika" i no ur feelin gurls… "she breve" can i b ur new toni chilwes 2.5? "she axed"

"no" sad teh gurlfrench

"o"

"ANYWAYS BAK TO ME!" SAD ME! (see i toldchu i wud b a riull impotent part of teh storey dat i get ma voise bak!)

"i fink its tim we sav ma keds cos im gettin rull tired uf dis storey like srsly u mite as wel call it HOW I MET MA KIDS cuz itz like chaptru 9 or sumtin n nuffin has happoned yat"

i cray

"O U MEAN DESE FINGS? "sad goblin brence as shi pulld out sum cookies frum hur purce

"OMG TORI SPELLIN TURND MA KIDS IN 2 COOKIES!"

i jus cudn rezist

"mebe jus a nebbul" sad me as i ate cheyann cookie vag hole

a tiny scram wus hurd n a swift deaf

"u wan sum?" i say

"no fanks" sad bug eyers "i dun liek cookies dey giv me indushitshchun" she fart

"MO FO ME"

WE DINE

I GRAB KYRA COOKIE N BEGIN 2 CRUSH IT IN2 LIL BB CHUNKS N GOBBUL UP TEH REST UF CHEYAN AS TEH GURLFECNE WATCH ME FURTLE AS I ET

"mmm gettin su hongrey n hrony" sad hispanicel "mayb jus a nibbel"

SHE BEGIN 2 EAT MA VAG

"mmm babby ya das rite keep likin ma dik hol" i say drubblan crumbs uf ma decesed chilwes on da flow n in hispanice weave

"OFF DA WEAF HO"

srry

BUT DEN, OUTTA NOWHER, CHEYAN N KYRA WOCKED FREW DA DOR!

"mam wot r u doin?" sad cheyan wit a lil bit of omg y is a hispanic womin in a blak womens worle n y is she eatin ma moms vag?

"o hay bb din see u der i jus ate u OMG MA KEDS!" i push hispanic off ma vag n she fly away cus hispanix r allergic 2 gravity

"WOT HAPPIND 2 U!" I SCRAM!

"um tori spellin mad us watch her nu show 'tori n deen purgaTORI' n if we din die we got 2 leaf"

"AM SO GLAD MA KEDS R ALIV N AM ALSU GLAD DIS STOREY IS OVA!" i hug ma chilwes like i acktually luv dem (lies) n wok away in2 da sunset EXCEPT I CANT BECUZ OF DA CONTANUDITY WIRROW HAS TO BRANG US BAK TO LIVE!

CLIFFHANGA!

**REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -REBANISH -**

omg a cliffhanga wot will happon 2 me n ma keds now dat i habv fownd dem also wot wil happen 2 u as a reader cos i fink dat i lost u dis chapta cuz i kinda insuleted ur intelgence but ma artistik intagrety is mo crusial error den it is gradual erol SO IF U UNDASTAN WOT I SAY DEN U WILL REVEW MA CHAPTRU N MA STOREY N GIV ME TEH STRENGF 2 GO-WON! FANKS!

reba


End file.
